The Little things

     I just realized that I have ministered to others in the little things that happen from day to day.  The other evening I had an employee of mine who is seventeen to train another person  on the register.  Her response to me was “but I am so young”.   I told her that I know she could do it and that I had all the faith in her.  I then started doing something else when holy spirit reminded me of David and how old he was when Samuel went to annoint him as the king of Israel.  When Samuel went to Jesse he saw his older sons and assumed that one of them would be the annointed one  but the Lord said “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  Samuel goes through all the sons but non of them were to be chosen.  David “the youngest” was sent for and Samuel annoints him for the Lord said “he is the one”.   I shared  with my employee what holy spirit reminded me of and it really gave her a lift.  And on top of that I was ministered to as well.  It reminded me to not judge by what I see because the Lord see’s it in a whole other perspective.

memories

     My sleep was haunted by memories of a time in my life where foolishness and selfishness ruled over me.  Thirteen years ago I walked out on my husband and my two small children.  And last night my mind took me to the scene when I was walking out the door and my three year old is saying “mommy don’t go”  “Mommy don’t go”.  “It’s okay baby, mommy loves you, go back inside and eat you dinner.”  I turned and the flood gates opened up.  I sat in the car and cried a good while before I could drive off.  I immediatly went and drowned my sorrows in as many mixed drinks as it took.  I was so sure that I had forgiven myself for the many mistakes I have made.  So tell  me why is the hurt and the pain as strong now as it was when it was happening?  Even as I am typing this tears are falling uncontrollably.  Can we really have forgiven ourselves and still have this strong a reaction to a distant memory.  I would like to say that they are tears of joy because I know what God has done for me and how far He has taken me but I can’t.  It is sorrow, and pain, and hurt, and guilt.  Are these the consequences of my actions?  Maybe so.  Thank God I have His word to comfort me!

                                “for His anger last only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime;  weeping may remain for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning” Ps 30:5

                                 “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.  Oh Lord my God I will give you thanks forever!” Ps 30:11-12

Being Real

    Being real, what does it mean to you?  I’ve been told before “Deanna, you’re so real!”.  I have to laugh because I am the same loud mouth in church as I am outside of church.  I have my foot in my mouth as often in church as I do outside of church.  I don’t try to pretend to be someone or something I’m not just because I am in church.  Why just this past sunday my husband felt the need to remind me that we were in church.  And I of coarse said…SO!  But something I am guilty of is pretending to be okay when I am not.  Pretending that I have it all together when I do not.  We tend to not want to burden others with our problems.  They probably have enough to worry about themselves.   Or we are embarrased to admit that we are not perfect.  Well DUH!  Who is perfect.  The bible tells us to “carry each others burdens , and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Gal 6:2.  We gather together as a family to be renewed, rejuvinated and equiped to be the salt and light in the world.  So anytime that things are not okay.  Let us help.  Anytime things aren’t going right let us pray for you.  Thanks Helen for reminding us how important it is for us to relly on each other.

     Now how about being real in the world.  Do you do the same thing at your job.  Do you hide behind a lie that your life is perfect.  You have no problems and no worries.  No, I’m not saying you should tell the world all the details of your life.  But I do think if we are going to reach people for Christ they need to see the real deal.  They need to know that we are not perfect, our lives are not perfect, our children are not perfect and that we don’t always have all the answers or have it all together all the time.  I believe they need to know that we struggle from time to time.  That sometimes we even fall.  They need to know this so they can see that God picks us back up again.  That God forgives us.  That god makes us overcomers in any situation.  They need to see us going through a trial to see us come out of it and they need to see that it was God that did it.  That to me is real.

What do you see?

     I was reading in Matthew last night and came across the chapter where Jesus is walking beside the Sea of Galilee.  He sees two brothers, Simon (Peter) and Andrew casting a net into the lake.  He calls to them, “Come, Follow me and I will make you fishers of men”Ma 4:19  And at once they left their nets and followed Jesus.  Further along they come across another set of brothers, James and John.  They were in their boat along with their father preparing their nets.  Jesus calls to them and they immediatly left the boat and their father and followed Him.

     Now I ask you this question .  What makes a man leave his family or his job?  What makes him leave behind all that he has ever known to follow someone he has never met before?  They would’ve had to have seen something so special in Jesus.  The jewish people believed in the coming of the Messiah.  Did they know upon seeing Him that He was the Messiah?  What did they “see” to make them just drop it all in an instant?    I asked Brett what his thoughts were and he said that it was what was in His eyes.  That they seen the light in his eyes and that the power of Holy Spirit was upon Him in such a way that it was like revelation to the fishermen.  I wonder if they even knew what Jesus was talking about when He told them that He would make them fishers of men. 

    So here is what the Lord is dealing with in me. It is over two thousand years later and we are the ones who are to be fishers of men.   Surely I don’t go up to complete strangers and say hey you come follow me.  How about you give your life to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  They would probably look at me like I am a crazy person who needs to be institutionalized.  I beleive there has to be something in me that draws that person to listen and most importantly to accept the truth of Jesus.  When people look at me what do they see.  What kind of Jesus am I portraying?  My desire is for Jesus to be so powerful in me that when people see me they will recognize him.  That Jesus would be so big in me that I won’t have to get into a lengthy discussion about why or how but all I say is come and people will come to the saving knowledge of Christ.

     Right now I’d say I have a long way to go.  I have days where people can see Jesus in me but then I have days that if I told you I was a follower of Christ you’d probably laugh and say yeah right.  Okay that may be a bit of an exaggeration but that is just how I feel.  I want to get to a place where you can’t see me at all because you are blinded by the light of Christ.  Get me there God  Take my there Lord!  Whatever it takes do it. There is no time to lose.  I am ready!  Who else is with me?  Let’s Go!  Let your light shine bright in us Lord!

It’s been a while

Hey there guys.  I have not written a thing since May.  Have I been that busy?  I guess…  Well I have something to say…finally!:)  The other day I was traveling with some of my coworkers and my boss to a meeting in Hickory.  The discussion of where to eat for lunch came up and I of coarse being of an agreeable nature said anywhere would be fine with me except McDonalds.  When asked why I explained that the company is an advocate for gay and lesbian rights and give money and their support to that community.  In response to my statement I got a “you must be reading out of a different bible.”  And other comments Like “I seem to recall you having alot of those people working for you” and “You can’t be like that”  I felt attacked and in trying to explain my position I couldn’t get a word in edgewise so I just didn’t try anymore.  But the more I think about it the more it angers me that they would think I would mean that I hated those who live that kind of lifestyle.  Or looked down on them in anyway.  Because I don’t.  First and foremost let me share with you where I stand.  “My bible” (which the one I have at my side right now is the king james version and the New International version) says in Genesis 2:21-24 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept:and He took one of his ribs, and He closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of a man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  Lev 20:13 says ” If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them has done what is detestable.  They must be put to death…” (NIV) The King James version uses the word abomination.  1Cor 6:9-11 says “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderes, not swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.  And that is what some of you were.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God.”(NIV)  There are many different translations but only One true word of God which is where I get my truth from…  So I do read the same bible as you!   So here is where I stand…I hate sin.  And sin is sin no matter what it is.  I don’t hate the sinner. This is very important for you to understand.  My point is this.  Homosexuality is classified in the bible along with any other sin which is what it is… a sin.  I have worked with several homosexuals many of which I hired myself.  I did not condemn them for thier lifestyle nor did I treat them any differently than anyone else.  My heart is to see people set free like I was.  My purpose is to live my life in a way that witnesses to others.   I am not perfect, for we have all sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God and believe you me I have done my share of falling therefore I try not to judge others.  I believe God can and will wash, sanctify , and justify all who seek his forgiveness.  He did me.  But all I am saying is you don’t hear about corporations funding ”Murderers Across America or The Greater Wilmington Purse Snatchers local 105.  If you do then you all need to call me and I just may change my mind…No I won’t!

Still the same

     This morning after the choir had prayed, Helen shared what God had put on her heart.  Essentially she said that it is up to us (the choir) to praise at the same if not greater level than we did last week when Dr. Myles Munroe ministered.  (Which was amazing by the way.) She shared that just because the speaker may not be the same or the people in the congragation are not the same people from last week we should go before the Lord with great expectancy for Him to do great things because He is still the same God.  The God that showed up last week is the same God that will show up this week so why expect anything less and why give anything less?  With that said I wanted to take it one step further.  The same God who made His presence known to us today is the same God who will make His presence known to us tomorrow.  The question I ask is what will we expect from Him when we show up to work?  Do we expect Him to stay hidden in this little box forgetting to praise him because we’re not at church?  I expect Him to do great and mighty things in my workplace as He did in todays service and as He did in last weeks service.  My expectancy of what the Lord can do should never diminish no matter where I am or no matter who I am in company with.  We serve a great and mighty God.  He was great yesterday, He is great today and He’ll continue to be great tomorrow.  We need to go into our workplaces the same way we enter our churches…expecting a great move of God.  This world is in desperate need of what my God has and we are the tools He uses so expect Him to do great things tomorrow.  Don’t just reserve great moves of God to inside the church walls.  Thank you all for letting me preach a little to myself.  Wow I needed that!

unleash

    It has been almost a week since we were at “unleash”.  What an awesome experience we had.  I was amazed at the energy and the way the people there made you feel welcome and got excited that you were there to worship with them.  And although I had a great time and I thank God for what He is doing at Newspring Church I am thankful that we are not called to be another Newspring but we are called to be The Rock of Wilmington and to reach Wilmington as God gives direction.  I am thankful that we as churches are not all roast beef and that we all bring something different to the table.  I like to have meat, potatoes, vegetables and especially desert!  We got to have desert!  Anyway I want to be the best that God has called us to be and not try to be someone else because I don’t like to double up on my starches.  But this is not what I set out to talk about.  While we were at unleash I had a chance to take in the lighting and staging and see how they did their praise and worship and I have to say it was pretty amazing, pretty luod but pretty amazing.  If you read my previous blog you’d know that I had a problem with us changing our stage and lighting because I felt it would be turning worship into a production or a show and it would become more entertainment than praise.  But to tell you the truth…If what is being sung or what is being taught is the word of the Lord then it is not entertainment.  I had no problem entering in and worshipping my God.  So if I didn’t get anything else out of it I learned that painting the back all black and adding lights is not going to anything but add to the atmosphere. 

Praise or performance?

        One of my biggest fears is that I will take for granted the gifts that God has given me.  That I will no longer be on the platform to lead the congregation into the presence of God but to be there only for my own glory.  I am afraid that I will become so comfortable that my worship will turn into performing instead.  That humility will turn into arrogance.  Some times even now I question wether my motivation is pure.  Or am I just wanting the praises of the people for myself.  I don’t believe that is the case and I pray it never will.  This may be why I am having trouble with my church wanting to make changes to our platform.  Their desire is to make it look more like a stage  that one would see in a performing arts center.  The back wall will be painted black and they will be adding more lighting.  All in efforts to reach the lost.  Because our society has become a visual society they feel these changes will have a greater effect on those who are searching.  And maybe they are right.  If they believe that this is what the Lord is calling us toward then I am right there with them.   Yet the other part of me is still afraid.  Will I be able to seperate performing and praise and worship?  One thing I know for sure is that I am called to this ministry.  And I am willing to be used by God in any way He sees fit.  All I can do is trust in my God and remember His greatness and majesty each time I step foot on that platform.  Psalm 56: 3-4 When I am afraid I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid…